An Introverted Excursion

I awaken to the dew of nothingness;

Beyond the seas of tragedy,

I enter the plane of refuge;

No longer chased by the steads of chaos,

I am still as I ride onto the carpet of the winds;

Currents subdued by chance,

I dive in solitude,

But not from a movement of aloneness, 

But of gratitude. 


Photo credit: Photo by Jp Valery on Unsplash

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Revival

I yearn for the freedom of the road,

Where the Airstream pumps the beat of my heart, 

The shadows of the landscape, 

Lights the caverns of serendipity, 

Rolling through its divine,

I feel it’s allure,

Taunting and insightful,

Its lips pursed stealing a kiss from my obedience.

Love is in the details, 

Hidden and coy,

But intense like the breath of God.

The sun serenades through the summit,

As the dusky sky calls to the nocturnal,

Boots cozied by the fire,

Releasing the stories it holds,

From the rambunctious of asphalt,

To the headiness of backwoods dirt,

Forgiveness drifts to where only the stars can see,

Loitering in contemplation, 

The moons winks in revival.


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Briars

I’ve spent months in daydreams,
Where the mountain brooks flow through timbers,
I longed for the briars to pierce my skin,
To know that I am alive with cadence,
Lullabied by the breath of morning,
Stirred by the reflective sighing dawn,
I came to know,
Men were made to be wild,
With heightened senses,
Erasing the hue of artificial smells,
As dew washes away the contempt of solitude,
I am free where only the eagles can see me,
Laid bare by winter’s afternoon,
Drifts of capes dances in the background of fire,
The wood burns as deep as my soul,
As my breath labors for a full moon,
I swear at daybreak,
For I wasn’t done drifting in dunes,
I search for gratitude in the tension of remembrance,
As the new day incubates, the cauldron of memories.

Photo by Catalin Dragu on Unsplash

Mindful Thoughts #1

When I first began my mindfulness journey it was one of confusion and frustration. I was thinking, “you want me to sit here and just breathe and try not let my thoughts overwhelm me!?” That was my simplistic view of what Mindfulness was at the time. As a child I’ve had diagnosed ADD, which meant my mind raced and wandered all the time. The combination of childhood trauma also added a layer of difficulty when it comes to regulating my thoughts and emotions. I thought it was normal having these anxiety infused thoughts racing through my head every second. Since I could remember I had an anxiety about death. At any moment I thought I was going to die. It haunted me daily. I didn’t think this was abnormal, it was just the way it was. My mind was a labyrinth of different catastrophic thoughts and situations. Reflecting, it’s a miracle that I could function as highly as I could.

What mindfulness taught me was to observe my thoughts as thoughts. I could be curious with them, play around with them, observed how they began and ended, but most importantly I didn’t have to act on them nor did I have to believe these thoughts were reality. It allowed me to be an observer of my thoughts and feelings and not a participant. It gave me space. Space to evaluate, and act when it was necessary to act. I wasn’t driven so much by emotional impulse, but by observation and mindfulness.

Choose to Engage 

We live in a time where many people have a platform to voice their hopes, wishes, dreams, and wants. We also live in a time where people can also quite effectively voice their disdain, displeasure, insults, and turmoil. 
We have a choice to engage in the negative energy that we encounter. We have a choice to be offended or not be offended. We often forget that we don’t have to take everything that is directed towards us. Not every impulse needs a similar reaction. We have a choice to engage.

Monet

Like the brush of a Monet,
You are loose,
But your colors are not as honest,
Bright as you may be,
You bleed indiscriminate,
I painted you well,
A masterpiece some may say,
Captured your beauty in an artistic haze,
Reds become golds,
Blues fold into bands of judgements,
Whispers of delusions,
Canvas all that you are:
Unfinished and unrepentant,
Unmoving and dependent,
Hands littered with the casualties of making you beautiful,
Lines become blurred with impatience;
Naked with prudence,
Visions betrayed by the tinkering of emotions relayed,
Fingers moving with a hint of fidelity,
Until you are everything I think you are.

Undone 

How many men did he see,

Come beaten down after a tussle with insanity,

Who took refuge from love coming undone,

And the unwebbing of tightly coiled ego,

Frayed and twisted in a such a way,

That a prayer to God couldn’t save his fate,

Such a day laid in wait,

Where blues and golds sprung to stifle his gait,

An assault of conscience,

A ruse of pain,

A bitter sword

Left to strike its bane,

Streams whispering of currents anew,

As the battered soul trudges on with a betrayal

Of taunt and sinew,

And there he laughs glee as the spring’s morn;

The stillness as it quakes under the light’s dawn,

Grooves encroaches his brow,

Sweat nourishes his belly of solitude,

Leaves that have fallen a long time ago,

Brings warmth to concessions only he knows,

As one goes many will come,

To be held by the noon’s sun,

Before coming undone.
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Journal: 5.2.15

Poetry is the breath of life. It lives, it breathes. That’s what poetry does. It’s alive. It can evoke the strongest emotions from humans. Poetry is spiritual and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Poetry is the mana of the soul. It feeds hunger, and it comforts despair. It is the lasting vestige of hope that man feeds from. It’s the cool water at the end of an 1000 mile journey. It propels. It sustains. It’s the glue that repairs broken hearts.